Creepy and crawly, doesn't work out for me

A couple of days ago, before the birth of "blog blah blah blah", Bone Junior and I took a nice leisurely lunch together, and by leisurely I mean we took a 2 hour lunch. We went to Quiznos, and sat there for about a half hour. Then we went to next door to some bread store to get a tasty chocolate treat (what lunch is complete without a tasty chocolate treat?). We emerged from the bread store with a glorious square of chocolate, nuts, and fudge. We were about to get in my car when who did we spy but our dear friend The Jam (do not confuse the jam with The Jam, we weren't about to spread her on our tasty chocolate treat or anything). So we took another 15 to 20 minutes to talk to her about fat belts, babysitting, and how pretty Bone Junior's hair was. After this conversation we proceeded on towards the Auto Zone so Bone Junior could purchase some oil and other supplies for her class later that night. Then it was on to Wal-Mart where Bone Junior wanted to purchase a gift for someone (who shall remain nameless until said person receives said gift). Now here is where the whole story takes a turn for the worse. I started to feel not so good while at the Wal-Mart and we decided to go back to my house so I could drug up and rest a little. To make this long story a little shorter, we ended up laying on my bed at my house for almost another hour and then went back to work.

Now, this is where my story starts to involve things that creep and crawl. While we were laying on my bed, Bone Junior saw out of the corner of her eye something crawling across the pillow that she was resting her noggin upon. Next thing I know we are both letting out blood curdling screams and trying to get as far away from the pillow as possible. I still had no idea why we had started exercising our vocal chords, but you know how it is when one person screams like that it always turns into a chain reaction. So, Bone Junior carefully went back to the pillow to lift quickly, with as little physical contact with the pillow as possible, to reveal a giant brown spider still crawling around on my bed like he owned the joint. Bone Junior and I are both pretty freaked out about spiders and usually revert to making others kill them or shew them away for us (the first choice is more preferable), but since it was just she and I a silent vote was taken and it was determined that I was less afraid of spiders than she. I ended up squishing it and she took the wad of TP to the bathroom and Gildersleeves (that's the spider) was flushed to a watery death (if he wasn't dead already).

Later on that night, when it was time for me to go to bed, I remembered my experience earlier that day. Ryan was out of town, so I would be sleeping alone on our mattress that lays directly on the floor since we live the simple life right now in our sweet little basement apartment. I got to thinking, "where did that spider come from? It's not like I leave windows and door open or anything." So, I decided to check under my mattress just to make sure that none of Gildersleeves' cousins would be joining me that night after I went to sleep. Well, thankfully I checked because yes indeed there were 3 other spideys lurking in the corner where the wall meets the carpet and where my mattress fits right into that sweet 90 degree angle. Once again, I had to be in charge of killing the spiders on my own unless by some miracle chuck sprouted thumbs in the next 30 seconds.

Needless to say it took me forever to fall asleep that night as I lie awake wondering where else were the spideys living? And let me tell you, I am pretty sure that all spiders in Utah, maybe even the whole United States might have originated in my apartment. It's pretty awesome!